So here is the story of the weekend as I remember it – or as I want to remember
it.
We got the cars loaded up on Wednesday evening at our house and made it to Las
Vegas about 3:00 on Thursday – unfortunately it was still over 100 degrees –
luckily we only had to check in to the hotel for the night and did not need to
work on the cars.
My brother, Bryan flew in on Thursday evening from Redding where he lives.
We left early Friday and drove up to Ash Springs where we unloaded the cars from
the trailer and had ICE CREAM. We then made a run up the highway and
“remapped” the mile markers for last 14 miles of the course. In prior
races we had a few minor anomalies in our course notes, which meant the
positioning of the mile markers might have been off by a bit. Sue
said she would do the driving for this “mapping” and Paul could write the
coordinates down. I now believe she did this so I would be responsible for
all mistakes – I thought she was just being pushy, but maybe she had out smarted
me – again.
So we got to Ely in time to get registered, checked into the hotel, clean the
car and put all of our race decals on the car. We headed off at 5:00 to
the high school for the parade through downtown. We got some great
video up at the high school with all the kids and the cars. The
local kids ride in the cars whenever possible in the parade. Believe
it or not the city actually allows the kids to sit on the center console or in
someone’s lap without a seat belt! Oh what is the world coming to! Sorry a
little political commentary about our protected world of today.
Since we drove in the parade my brother offered to video tape the parade so he
got the whole thing as a spectator.
That ended Friday’s events. Going to the local brothel (remember we are in
Nevada) on Friday night for the car show and party with the “professional girls”
does not seem to be a great idea considering I am with my mom and my wife – no
comments please. Trust me I am not going near there. For those of
you macho guys out there saying “what a wimp” – I say I admit it.
Anyway back to our story, Saturday we got up and did a final prep of the cars
before we headed over to the local football field/park for the final tech
inspection and car show. We got some video here and some pictures.
Lots of cool cars. Corvettes were the big winner, more than any other brand.
Two new ZR1s – both cyber gray. Mustangs were the second largest group of
cars. Followed by Porsche, Viper and lots of miscellaneous others.
Some of the notables were Lamborghini, Ferrari, GT40, Austin Martin, 1963
Fairlane, Honda Civic, and a couple of F100 and Silverado pickups. No
General Lee. So after sitting around for a few hours, we left for lunch.
Not much chance to win a car show when there are 100 to 120 cars with a single
winner, for best car, and there are 60 Corvettes plus all the exotics. So
being the well seasoned veterans that we are we had nothing to do all afternoon.
Sue went and gambled with my mom – and Sue won $300 on penny slots. My
dad, Bob took a nap. My brother did some gambling and hit the local
boardwalk – which means he went shopping for a shirt. I worked on the
computer, went and said hello to a local Radio Shack owner – who has saved my
bacon with various parts more times than I care to remember. I then
decided to get organized for Sunday – or I thought I did.
Saturday evening at 5:30 we had our mandatory driver/navigator meeting, and then
had a quick dinner and tried to go to bed. We had to be in line to drive
down to the staging area at 6:00am – which meant get up at 5:00 to load the
Avalanche with all our stuff and check out.
Well knowing that everything was going too easy – Sue and I were up at 4:00am!
Do you want to know the time the sun comes up on May 17th in Ely
Nevada?
Ok, get checked out and load the Avalanche. We go down to the cars and get
ready to head out. I can’t find the GPS – oh s…. Well after 5
minutes I find it – my heart is now going at 2000 beats a second – calm down
drive over and get in line. No problem.
We get in line – good we are not the last car – there is one car behind us, oh
good now two and before you know it 6 cars are slower than us to get in line.
I feel pretty great.
Wait a minute what is this dash warning – tire pressure is too high. Oh s…
I forgot to check the pressure after putting extra air in last night – oh hell
the caravan is moving we have to wait. Sue why don’t you turn on the
video and we’ll give an update for the camera. Paul starts telling the
story: “There are 117 cars in the event this year. Our class has 13 cars,
12 Corvettes and one Ferrari – Sue and I are running in the 125 MPH class and we
teched up to 165 MPH (normal for this class is a tech or max speed of 134 MPH).
Bob and Bryan are running in the 135 MPH class – total of 4 in their class.
The biggest classes are 110 MPH with 27 cars and the 150 MPH with 20 cars.
Temperature is 45 degrees we are at 6600 feet in elevation and heading down to
Lanes truck stop for our pre-grid ….”
Oh! back to the caravan, this is so cool to have a police escort lights and all
that going down the highway at 80 MPH and a top speed of about 110 MPH – cool
time to warm up the car – oops you forgot you want your tires cool before you
test them – oh well lets have some fun.
So now we get to the pre-grid area where all the cars are put in rough order.
Sue reminds me we did not test our camera’s audio with our helmet to helmet
intercom – so much for planning. So here we are at 6:30 sitting in our car
talking into our helmets testing our recording – boy are we getting funny looks
from everyone in the area – almost 2 hours before the race starts.
But now my heart is going again, but I am in control and focused – right!
So we finish and say we better get to the rest room before we head up to the
grid who knows where the port-a-potties are up there? Oh s... Sue just
realized she forgot her peanut butter crackers. Having water, regular
crackers, apple juice, tootsie rolls, life savers and who knows what else and we
forget peanut butter crackers. You won’t believe it but the pre-grid at
Lanes truck stop had two packages of peanut butter crackers – they may be dated
12/15/1961 – but who cares that stuff never goes bad!
So we get back in the car and head up to the grid. We are on time it’s
about 7:20 now, everything is on track. I better get the GPS turned on,
turn on the stop watch software and get our course notes out. Get your
helmet out, gloves, arm restraints what else is there – oh look the port-a potty
is 20 feet away – go get in line – with 20 other people. What it is 8:00 –
what happened to the time – first car should be going off right now and we are
suppose to go off at 8:49 (we are car 49), ok there is a slight delay some cows
on the road, they are getting them off it will take about 20 minutes.
I wonder if that will be tonight’s dinner?
One of the race officials comes by and says watch for cows at mile marker 15 and
30 in Nye County – oh great like we’ll remember that. What happens if you see
one – honk! Actually –the race officially got them off the road and closed
the gate someone had left open. Personally, I think the cows opened the gate
early in the morning, they just wanted to watch us go by from the side of the
road and not back in the fields.
Oh S…. I forgot to let the air out of the tires. Better do that.
Oh, and don’t forget to tell the person in front and behind you what your basic
plan is. Are you going to make a speed run and might pass them or will the
person behind you pass you. Jim and Dawn are right by their car – so it is
no problem we found out we have the same basic plan. Where is Bob from
Vegas Vettes who is behind us, well finally he finishes all the work that Vegas
Vettes do at the starting grid and he gets to get his car ready to go. We
find out he wants to hold steady no speed runs the whole way – we all agree it
should be a great race.
Oh, I just heard the first car go off! We are running. Now the second car
is off. Oh, I have not talked to my dad or my brother, I’ll go find them and
say have a good run and get a couple of pictures. There they are 16 cars
in front of us. Wow, they are all suited up and ready to go! S… that
means I am going to go in 16 minutes oh SSSSSS….!
Sue we need to get a quick picture of us – oh forget it no time.
Quick let’s get in line for the facilities, last time before we race.
Of course all I can think is if anyone in front of us has to do more than just
Pee we are in trouble! Or if one of the ladies wants to do her hair
or makeup in there, I’ll never get to pee except maybe in my pants in the middle
of the race.
We get to use the facilities, so no worries on needing a depends – since there
are no pit stops. Being the calm organized person that I am I say oh so
calmly, “Sue why don’t you get your helmet, arm restraints and gloves on, while
I get all the other stuff turned on”. My mind is now racing at a million
miles an hour – what did I forget – I know there is something else!
Ok, we are in last thing to do is turn on the video. Can’t turn it on too
early – a 60 minute tape with a 43 minute race – hate to have the end of the
race not be recorded – did that twice before. Ok keep your harness lose
and reach back and hit the record button. Oh S… I think I just pulled
something turning and reaching. I tell myself suck it up and be a man –
don’t tell Sue. Ok the red light is on. Wait it is now
blinking what does that mean – Oh S… the tape is out. How can that be – oh
you forgot to put a new tape in! No time to get out of the car and get one
out of the back end.
Wait – I got an idea. Just reach back – oh that hurt – put the camera in
play mode rewind to the beginning – oh that hurt some more. Come on
rewind.
“Ok I’ll pull up as the official tells me to get moving. What pull down on
my harnesses sure let’s do that. Oh that feels real tight like I can’t
move at all”. Oh and look with my arm restraints now I look like a
T-Rex with 6 inch arms. Oh S…. how can I reach the camera to put it back
in record mode.
“What move up for last tire inspection – sure. Oh, Sue just so you
know I am going to record over all that video from the parade, the park
and the drive down to the grid – sorry! But at least we’ll get the race.”
Tire inspection – this is where they found a nail in Bryan’s tire last August.
I hope I didn’t drive over a nail.
“Oh thanks for checking them - we look good – thanks for all the help.
Have a good ride thanks we will” If I can figure out how to reach
back – oh that hurt some more. Wait I’ll just slip off this arm
restraint and reach back – ok that did hurt. But wait the tape is
not done rewinding – come on come on.
“What darling – Sorry Sue I did not hear you even though we have a $500 helmet
intercom system hooked up that would allow us to hear a mouse fart if he was in
our helmet (sorry for the graphic). Yes I know I can forget the video, I
will put my arm restraints on just a second.” Wow the tape stopped
rewinding. Ok just reach back –
“What move up in get in position to start – ok sure. Got it we go on the
top of the next minute, right after the blue car – wait I am a blue car oh you
mean that blue car.”
That means we have two minutes to start. Ok just smoothly reach back –
ouch and flip the camera from play to camera and now reach just a little further
– oh my god – that hurt – I should be in a 1980 Cadillac with enough room for a
whole recording studio and video crew in the car! Focus, hit the record
button!
“Sue I can’t move – you want to drive from that side – ha ha just kidding.”
Adjust the mirror can you see the red light on the camera – oh sure now we are
all set – how long until we go – oh S… 15 seconds.
“Sue hand me the clipboard or a stop watch.” Oh s…. reset the mileage and
all the that stuff. 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, Go! No problem!
Ok we started all the clocks and off we go. Our first mile marker is
coming up – Sue announces “we are 25 seconds slow” – of course we went from zero
to 115, oh s… we are in the 125 mph class – better get going!
Ok drive down the middle of the road – lets go get it. Ok we have
gone about 4 miles – check the gauges, tire pressure good, oil temp, oil
pressure everything is good, wait ….
I am in 5th gear doing about 140mph the road is slightly uphill with
a right hand sweeper ahead – “thanks Sue – the course notes are nice”.
Let’s see what is not right – oh s…. – I have no tach – we have no RPMs.
Oh that is right I upgraded to the new nuclear powered Corvette C7 and there is
no need for a tach! What are you dreaming of course there should be a tach
– what else did I forget to do! Look again it must be running I can hear
the motor so it has to be turning. Ok I’ll just pretend it is showing
about 3500 RPM.
“Hey babe – having fun? Everything is great over here”.
So now after all the that, I cannot tell you anything about the first 61.2 miles
of the course. I do know we did not see any cows at the side of the road
watching the race, nor were there any cars that broke down. At one point I
said to Sue – I think we have about 28 miles to go – “She said no 28.8”.
The Navigator from HELL finally appears!
I looked over and see that the GPS said we hit 153 somewhere but I am not sure
if that was on one of the straights or in the speed trap. I was trying to
write out a check list of all the crap I forgot to do for next year!
So here come the narrows – a 3.5 section of the course that is all turns.
No time to look over at Sue not that I need to she is yelling loud enough now
for me to know there is a right hand turn ahead which is very dangerous and to
slow down even without the headset.
Actually we go through the narrows at about 110 miles and hour with 8 seconds in
the bank or ahead of our target – just like we planned. At least that is
how we’ll record it for everyone, since nothing was written down you’ll have to
believe me, that that was our plan. Down to 105 for the last two turns, a
right and then a left. Or was it a left and right, must have been a right
and then a left.
“Sue we are out of the narrows you can open your eyes and stop screaming - how
are we on our target time?”
WHAT you MISSED the mile marker!!!!!!! – you mean the white post – the one on
your RIGHT that I said MILE MARKER now! – as we passed it. No problem
babe – you’ll get the next one. Oh s…. are we fast, are we slower? did I
lose all the banked time?, oh s…. at least I got to go fast for the last
60 miles – I think.
“Ok you got the mile marker – good, so what is it saying?”
“Oh good fast by 2 seconds – not bad, we only lost 6 seconds through the
narrows, oh babe mile marker coming up.”
“What you miss one now we are 8 seconds slow! Something is wrong”
Oh babe – don’t worry would you like me to STOP and backup?
Ok Miss navigator the distances – yes I measured them – so of course if there is
an error it must be my fault.
“Now it says we are 0.03 seconds fast – wow that is good news.”
You want me to drive 125.02 MPH for the next 60 seconds steady the drop
instantly to 125 and stay perfectly at that speed for the next 16 miles
including uphill, downhill, through the remaining corners – oh sure MISS
NAVIGATOR – I’ll BE HAPPY TO DO THAT!
Ok, one mile to go – you mean .96 miles right oh yes – what? Is that the
countdown? 10, 9, 8 , 7, 6, “go how fast?”, 5, 4 “there is the finish line”.
Ok punch it – I am going to be fast in this race – I am always slow – yes my
life story!
“We are crossing the finish line “NOW”, Sue, I think we were fast like we wanted
to be by maybe .25 seconds – oh s… we forgot to stop the stop watches oh well!”
Ok the race is over, start slowing down, start down shifting, still no tach, oh
here comes the construction cones – S…. where is the entrance to the cones?
They are all just a blur of orange – wait I’ll just slow down to 2 MPH and I
should be able to see how to drive through them at that speed, if not I just
drive over them – I am good at that – just ask Randy he gave me a hat!
There the entrance is – drive right down here – oh look up anyone coming behind
you – no – thank goodness.
There up ahead are the race officials, they want to know how we did? “Ok
it was very calming morning no problems everything went very good, my navigator
was perfect, and of course the driver was in complete control at all times.
Do did we do? Pretty good but we’ll see what the official results are.”
How did we do? How would I know, we forgot to stop the stop watches and I
have CRS (Can’t Remember S…).
“Sue they want their radio back – oh you can’t reach the glove box with the
harness on – yes it is safe to take the harness off we are stopped at this
point. No the sheriff over there won’t give you a ticket if you don’t have
a seat belt on – trust me”. I say with a grin like when we were 20.
So that was our race – no real excitement, no worries just a lot of fun.
We loaded the cars up in Ash Springs, took our time and drove to Sam’s Town in
Las Vegas and waited until for the awards dinner at 7:00.
At 9:30.235 (Sue told me the time), Sue and I learned we took 2nd
place in our class. We did an average speed of 124.9936 MPH.
Our time variance was 0.133 seconds. That is 28.38 feet from perfect.
Bob McVane from Vegas Vettes beat us with a time variance of 0.126. So the
difference of 0.007 seconds between our time and his was a distance of 15.36
inches.
It was Sue’s most accurate race to date, not bad for a lady who would not get in
the car with me if I did over 100 a couple of years ago. If we had
been in any of 7 other speed classes our time would have been good enough to win
– just the luck of the draw and who you race against in your class.
My dad and my brother finished 3rd in their class with a speed of
134.9623 MPH and a time variance of 0.670 seconds.
All and all a great weekend with my family and lots of friends from the Silver
State. Not a bad rush for 43 minutes and 12 seconds
Paul
Authors disclaimer: I apologize in advance for typos and missing words. I
wrote this last night and just did a quick re-read before I go home for the
evening. Please note the author - me, is still on an emotional high from
the race and all of the words that I think I may have said (appearing “in
quotes”) and all the things I was thinking to my self – may be slightly
exaggerated to make this story longer than was needed.
Webmasters note- the photo above in NOT pauls car, looks like it but is is not.
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